Robert Hare describes a specific pattern he calls the "nurturance-seeking missile": some manipulators are unusually skilled at identifying warm, caring people and then aggressively attaching themselves specifically to exploit that person's nurturing instincts for money, time, or favors. It isn't random who gets targeted — kindness itself functions as a visible, exploitable signal, the same way a predator might key in on a specific trait rather than choosing targets at random.
The uncomfortable implication is that the very trait that makes someone a good partner, friend, or colleague — genuine care for others — is also what makes them identifiable as a good target. This isn't a reason to become less caring; it's a reason to pair caring with a separate, deliberate check on whether that care is being reciprocated or simply consumed.
Hare describes a psychopathic client who was especially skilled at identifying warm, caring people in his life and then aggressively attaching himself to them specifically to exploit their nurturing instincts for money and favors. Hare's phrase for this — a "nurturance-seeking missile" — captures how deliberately the targeting worked: the client gravitated toward "helper" personality types the way a guided weapon locks onto a signal, treating other people's kindness purely as an exploitable resource rather than as a quality to appreciate or reciprocate.